Love Letters from Former Nuns: Hannah

On day one of college, Hannah had no interest in having a boyfriend. On day two of college, Hannah met Dean.

Hannah is the living proof that your perfect match finds you when you are completely uninterested. Her friends would not describe Hannah as boy crazy during her time at the nunnery, but she was certainly interested in what attention they could spare. Therefore, Hannah’s decision to remain single during her time at college was unprecedented. But of course her charismatic ass would meet the perfect man for her two days in to orientation.

Two weeks in with engineering classes in full swing, Hannah found herself unable to concentrate on anything but Dean. Hannah could have had her pick of boys, her school is seventy percent male, but her mind was like a safe with details of Dean and a sieve with literally anything else. Hannah could not tell you what Professor Barnaby had assigned for homework when class ended seven minutes ago, but she could tell you the name of Dean’s first grade teacher (Miss Catherine Camp).

Dean knew just as much about Hannah as she knew about him, and he was just as bumbling as Hannah when it came to displaying his affections. Worse, when either Hannah or Dean would make a move, the other was completely oblivious to the flirtations. Peacocks are the birds that do the most to get a mate’s attention. Hannah and Dean were chickens with their heads cut off.

Dean’s big move was inviting Hannah to play Jeopardy on his laptop. Hannah and Dean sat right next to each other, Hannah’s knees knocking against Dean’s when she laughed, each inching closer to each other as they became more invested in the game. Dean decided to shoot his shot and put his arm around Hannah. Most people would have known that this meant Dean was showing interest in his Jeopardy partner. Hannah thought Dean’s arm was tired. Considering how long it was taking to get this relationship off the ground, Dean’s arm probably was tired. Hannah’s big move was more simple and less subtle. She and Dean were watching a show together, and she put her forehead on Dean’s forehead, hoping he could find the energy to move his lips forward five eighths of an inch and kiss Hannah. Dean could not find that energy.

The move that proved successful could not be solely claimed by Hannah nor Dean; it was a mutual effort. They decided to do their math homework together. What started out as a study buddy arrangement turned into both Hannah and Dean secretly doing their math homework early so that when it came time for them to meet in the library they could distract each other from homework that was already done. By the end of September, with their dynamic well established, Dean decided it was time to ask Hannah some blunt questions about her feelings. He did this by dancing around the subject. If asking Hannah out was the New York City Ballet, Dean was in a children’s interpretive dance class. It did not look hopeful.

Through shakes and stammers, Dean was able to ask Hannah if she had the choice of someone asking her out, how would she want this mystery person to ask her? Dean thought Hannah would then provide him with the perfect script to asking her out. Oblivious until the end, Hannah did not know what Dean was looking for, and told him she would die if someone asked her out, why does Dean ask? Well Hannah, Dean asks because his next question, asked through stutters, is, “Would you like to go on a date with me sometime?” It was in that moment, as Hannah was hit over the head by Dean’s feelings for her and thus was unable to ignore her growing crush on Dean, that she finally understood Dean was into her.

When Hannah saw her friends at Elsa’s annual Christmas party, Dean was Hannah’s phone background.

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